02 February 2013

Helpful Household Mr. Fixit Manual: How to Fix the Hotwire, by Otterpop.

First of all. Otterpop resents the fact she is called Mr. Fixit Manual. Otterpop is a girl. Otterpop is not a boy. Why does EVERYBODY call Otterpop a He, when she is very so clearly, a She?

So OK, gender weenies, clarified, and let's begin. When the hotwire breaks, and you know who breaks it? Goddamn horses, that's who. Boy, do those horses do nothing but cause Otterpop a pain in her ass. So they break the hotwire, and you know who has to fix it?


Everybody always saying, "Come on Otterpop. Let's get to it. Time to work, Otterpop. Go do THIS, Otterpop. Hurry up, Otterpop. Get to work, Otterpop. Shheeez."

So you need the tools. The tools are the TENNIS BALL. Get the TENNIS BALL. You need this for pretty much all the goddamn work on the goddamn ranch. Also the Makita. And some screws or whatever. Don't forget the TENNIS BALL.

You need to watch the TENNIS BALL. Because you will use the ESP to fix. Roll. Watch your TENNIS BALL. Watch it carefully. Never, ever, ever, take your eyes off the TENNIS BALL.

Roll it. Use your mind or if nobody's watching your nose but you should make sure they think you use your mind. Then you get it. Then watch it. Then roll it with your mind. Then get it. Then watch it. Then roll it with your mind. And so forth.

Makita screw electricity thingies whatever. Hotwire and so forth TENNIS BALL. Stare at those stink eye goddamn horses. You know who can't have the TENNIS BALL? Horses, that's who. Goddamn. TENNIS BALL. GET AWAY FROM THE TENNIS BALL! Why you need the iphone for fixing the hotwire? You know what happens to iphone when you get electrocuted with it in your pocket! Ha HA! Iphone. TENNIS BALL.

Not just anyone can use the Makita. FYI. That is the advanced tool and it has it's own box. You have to be pretty rad of skillfullness to use the Makita.

Makita though, obviously not as useful as TENNIS BALL. And you are welcome for your fixing how-to.


Jenn said...

She's so incredibly helpful! What would you do without her?


Elf said...

I really needed a laugh today. Thanks for that.

Ellie said...

I love my Makita, and I love your blog!