12 May 2012

An offering of the burden of unwanted advice.

Meta lessons learned:

Many sporty quotes say that if you don't give up on your journey of rugged determination, you will still succeed because it's all about the journey and not the destination. What the minds of excellence advice are leaving out though, is that some of the destinations involve a grand prize cruise to Hawaii. Some of them involve limping down the hall to the bathroom. Some of them are to hell on a rocket powered scooter.

And some of them are just crawling along a weedy sidewalk with ripped trousers that cause chafing, and that if your rudder is on the slightest bit crooked, you're just going to spend a long time slowly spinning in gravel scented donuts.

Specific lessons learned:

Many things can be handled with compassion and integrity. If you are handling a thing that cannot be, stay far away from facebook.

Just stay far away from facebook anyways.

Deaf dogs might not know what's going on most of the time, but they also don't bark at the UPS guy.

Dogs are expensive.

Horses are expensive.

Ranches are expensive. 

Life is expensive.

Positive thinking works great but if you wear the badge of mediocrity, you are just thinking positive thoughts that will hopefully keep you hovering at somewhere near average, which, like, YAY, is better than being totally shit.

Old dogs can learn new tricks but they will probably not be very good at them so see above about mediocrity.

Some old dogs can learn new tricks and be really good at them, but they probably will be somebody else's dogs and you are evil if you try to secretly poison them in your mind because who poisons dogs? See compassion and integrity. Get the hell away from facebook.

If at first you don't succeed, you can keep trying if you want but you actually might never succeed. Refer to special discovered information about the journey above for clarification.

Rolling under the hind end will solve a lot of things, but  even if it solved everything someone would still have to feed the horses dinner.


Elf said...

There is much sagacity there.

"Deaf dogs might not know what's going on most of the time, but they also don't bark at the UPS guy." So true. I always used to know when the mailman came, which was handy if I had something that needed to go out in the mail. No longer. Both miss it and don't miss it.

Celeste said...

hugs. and oh, yeahhhh...

nosemovie said...

There's something very Homer Simpson about this post:

Kids, you tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is, never try.
-- Homer Simpson

team small dog said...

And yet Homer still prevails. Mmm. Donuts.