16 March 2012

Cookin' with the team-Kale is a food as well as a plant and kale is a sacrifice we make for dog agility.

You might not even know about kale.

It looks like this close up. Green and bumpy. Not really like something you would want to eat, say compared to See's candy or a nice burrito or a very dark beer on tap.

You get it in the vegetable section at the store. This is all the way across the store from where the muffins and donuts are. There are no cupcakes where the kale is. This should tip you off that you are in dangerous territory. But do you want to run really fast? For this you need sinewy legs and you have to eat stuff like kale is what I think. And go to the gym. And run. So kale it is.

Put it in a bowl and get some oil. And vinegar. It doesn't have to be fancy oil. My friend Donna gave me this fancy oil. Because we are old now, as old as the hills and old people give each other things like fancy oil and have to eat stuff like kale. I didn't understand all this until recently.

It was like a lightbulb went off the other day. Another old person thing, lightbulb moment. My god. I just want my skinny, muscley, fast running legs back. Not old people lightbulbs.

Put the oil and vinegar in the bowl and mix it up. Wash yer damn hands first. Then stick it in the oven on a cookie sheet. Turn on the oven and don't let it burn.

I don't have a picture of that. But here's Otterpop in the rain with a sea shell in her mouth.

When it comes out of the oven, it looks like this. Gross. There's no way around it. This is not a freaking cupcake. Be brave. Because you are going to eat this. My husband won't eat this and will go out and get a burger. But me and the dogs will and we will like it because, goddamn healthiness.

It's like a crunchy leaf of health.

This is not a joke. I ate this whole plate of kales with a carrot for dinner. It is for the good of my cores and my fast running. For dog agility, I am eating leaves for dinner. I will not weep about this fact. My face here looks happy and young, because I have photoshopped it to the best of my ability. Please join me in this moment of kale. Over and out.


Elayne said...

I've actually been eating a lot of kale this winter as well as chard and spinach. I chop mine up into little pieces and fry it in olive oil with onions and mushrooms to hide the flavor of it and it's pretty good. The sweetness of the onions hides the bitter taste. I also shred a little cheese over it. I usually have it along with some scrambled or fried eggs for protein. I'm not a very good cook but it's one of the few things I can make.

team small dog said...

Are your legs sinewy and fast?

Anonymous said...

i, too, eat kale in the spring. it's a wake up call to my body to turn back the clock. i started eating it when i lived at 8800' and it was the only thing that was easy to grow up there. i stir fry it with onions, carrots, shitakes, and brown rice. very cleansing. VERY cleansing, if you know what i mean. if you want an extra boost add a teensy bit of umeboshi plum paste after cooking. my legs are not sinewy. i am not fast. but kale gives me hope. now i have to prove, once again, that i am not a robot.

Anonymous said...

When I had organic box delivery I'd end up with a frig full of kale, chard, turnip greens, celery, etc. Out of desperation, I put everything in a big pot & boiled until tender - then blended, seasoned and added some milk - it made a really yummy "green soup." Your blog has inspired me to try it again - and also make those kale "chips"...just love chips :)

Lynn Ungar said...

We are big fans of kale around here. The dogs especially are fond of "kale bones," which is what I call the tough stalks that I avoid eating by giving to them. Much to their crunching delight. My legs may not be fast and sinewy, but Piper is fast and Taz is sinewy, so I guess it works OK.

andrea said...

not sure I'm prepared to go that far - even for agility - although if I can grow it I'd probably be convinced ... should look into that!

Anonymous said...

if you chop and steam it, it's not bitter. toss with a little oil, vinegar, tamari,garlic, maybe some parmesan cheese, a sprinkle of grated beets......yum!

my legs are sinewy and old.

Elayne said...

My legs are not fast and they're more muscle-ly than sinewy plus the problem of a gimpy knee but that's because of lots of biking & running, not because of kale. But I do think the kale helps them recover faster from the biking and running so we can fit in more agility.

jodi, eh? said...

If you freeze it, when you take it out of the freezer, it's easier to deal with as it breaks into small bits and is malleable and it looses the bitter taste. Put it in scrambled egges, mash into mashed potatoes or sweet potatoes or squash. Throw it into smoothies, or into your burritos or anywhere you'd put spinach like spaghetti sauce. We eat a lot of kale up North.

team small dog said...

In burritos last night!

Also, maybe every town has this, but on March 31 is the big Kale Festival at the Homeless Garden! Homeless people grow kale and you pick it yourself and have festival! I am going to this instead of AKC Nationals.

Elf said...

I got all excited a year or so ago and cooked up a bunch of kale with olive oil and garlic and it was actually really good, and then I was f***ing sick all night and the next day. Contaminated veggies? Bad olive oil? Too much of a good thing in an unaccustomed body? Completely unrelated and just coincidental? Not inclined to try again.

Elf said...

I meant chard, not kale.