An inspirational lecture you can give to dogs if they feel sad about the rain.

Dogs, please don't be glum at what I'm going to tell you. You see, we had to cancel agility again. Something is wrong with the weather. It got a bit mucked up somewhere along the line, and it can't stop raining. But it's just weather. Unless you are the Cassadines, and you have your own weather machine hidden away in your secret castle lair on Skullcrusher Mountain, there's not a damn thing you can do about it.

And dogs. You know who owned the weather machine? Liz Taylor. She was going to take over the world and start by freezing Luke and Laura so they ran away on the yacht. This was after the whole incident in the disco, and after Laura broke up with Scotty Baldwin. Liz Taylor sat up there in her castle, wearing her fur coat and big ass eyeliner, and aimed those gamma rays on full blast, but even Liz Taylor couldn't change the weather. Girlfriend could ride the Pie to national victory, stay married to Rock Hudson in Marfa, but not do a damned thing about the rain.


James Franco, he might be like the boy version of Liz. We don't even know if he has a gamma ray machine. Michael Jackson probably had one, you notice how it never rained when he was president? We forget so easily. None of them though, alive or dead, has the keen understanding of the serpentine that all three of you posess. There's just some things in life we can't do nothin' about. A quick run out in the swamp will do you good. And next week, we'll get to do some agility.