Did you ever dream that you were a dog agility super champ except then it switched and you were at some germy, grungy, derelict seaside park in the dark and the carnies were actually drug addled zombies that were shambling after you with hammers and their big teeth? And then as you're trying to escape your way out from under their oily, horrible claws by clambering up a rat infested palm tree, you're all, this is about dog agility like, how?
23 December 2010
Holiday trick training with the Team-The Sexy Boots stripper pole dance move.
So you guys probably all have these already. We're always a little behind the curve. I got this Peekaboo Pole Dancing stripper pole as a Christmas gift from a lovely 14 year old girl at our barn party. I gave out vet wrap and horse shampoo in our gift exchange, but I came home with a stripper pole. I got some See's candy, too. Go figure.
So I thought that if this whole dog dancing thing is so popular, there's probably a pole dancing category in canine freestyle, right? Seems like there would be. I guess that would beat having to wear a little top hat and lady tuxedo. I hate those lady tuxedos. Just so much spirit fingers. Pole dancing could be much more, uh, minimal.
I tried to work out a little routine with Otterpop. I always teach her the tricks first. I said TEACH the tricks you guys. Just because we have a stripper pole in our kitchen now doesn't mean anyone is turning tricks. Geez. Plus Ruby has a sore leg so she only gets to watch and I sort of just don't see Gustavo doing pole dancing. I think it's just for girls.
Otterpop wasn't really getting it. I don't think I broke down the steps far enough for her first time on the pole. So I had to show her.
Like this. I like to call this move Sexy Boots. Shake those boots, Otterpop!
Can strippers dance to Pogues songs? I'm going to suggest my favorite Christmas song ever, Fairytale of New York. We're already really dizzy from all this spinning around. Otterpop is catching on really fast, once she's perfected Sexy Boots, we'll try the Squeezy Does It. Advanced users can also buy the special tickle ring and lap dancing add on accessories once you get all the moves down. I'll see what Otterpop thinks in a week or so.
Happy pole dancing, kittens!
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10 comments:
I cannot wait for the video!!
oh, please, please let the freestyle of HTM evolve to include a pole-dancing section...
Oh! I knew this would be such fun!! Taylor would love to try the dizzy spin too!
Video soon?
That's definitely the most unusual gift exchange gift I've seen. Even including the USB Humping Dog. I think you could easily enter freestyle with a pole-dancing routine; props are allowed! Except you'd need 2 poles maybe, one for each of you. Start a collection!
*waves a dollar in the air* woot!
Otterpop has pretty good weave poles, so stripper pole seemed like it would be pretty easy to teach her...
Wow, Team Small Dog goes from one lame, one lost, one angry team member to sexy boots stripper pole dancing in just 3 blogs...
I think you're all on the upswing!
I think the Upswing is also a pretty fancy pole dancing move. I sure hope this doesn't mess up her weave poles, though.
Where can I buy one? Does it come with an instructional DVD? So, so funny!
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