17 August 2010

Correct application of white glove etiquette in modern day dog agility situations.


Dear Miss Manners-

I was wondering what the etiquette was on this situation. Let's say, hypothetically, you have a dog agility boyfriend, who is really like a boyfriend the same way your rock star boyfriend would be. Like John Doe. Who could be your boyfriend due to his illustrious career in X and the Knitters and stuff, but when you happen to sit down next to him at a real life bar, even though it's all the way out in the desert, are too freaked out to talk to him, even though you know he's been your boyfriend for like 20 years. But he might not exactly know that.

So let's say, hypothetically, that you're a total kool-aid drinking follower of a dog agility boyfriend because his system of straight lines and clear and consistent rules has changed your dog agility life for the greater good of all mankind. So you made him your boyfriend on the internet even though probably every time him and his friends and like HIS WIFE find you on the internet they're all...STALKER! Creepy stalker! And explaining the system somewhat wrongly! Weirdly! Double pointy fingerly!

So then let's say, hypothetically, you end up friends with his wife, just like normal friendy friends, not like facebook friends or internet friends, just normal because, HELLO, NORMAL, REALLY, which makes him her real life husband in a relationship where there's no boyfriends and you have a perfectly good real life husband in a relationship where there's no boyfriends except for maybe John Doe but what were those words you exchanged at the bar? Something like, "Great set!" Smooth. Although your real life husband did not invent a dog agility system. Or was not a founding father of Los Angeles punk rock. And so then, Miss Manners, if you are like hanging out with them at the beach and stuff, because like, normal friend stuff that friends do, like go to the beach, does that mean that Robert Downey Junior is now officially your dog agility boyfriend, or Keanu Reeves?

This is hypothetical, btw.

Love Yer Pal,

Hypothetical Small Dog Agility Handler

2 comments:

Elf said...

I feel your pain.

penichops said...

Do you know what happens when you google Greg Derrett? One of your photos comes up as the 7th image.

That has GOT to mean something.

I found this out when I was stealing pictures of GD off the web for placement next to a dog who needs to understand the GD system. Putting his picture next to the dog's bed will surely help I recommended. so far so good.