Greg Derrett Handling System demonstrates the Threadle for waterlogged, rainboot wearing people in damp cashmere.

The Greg Derrett Handling System for waterlogged, rainboot wearing people in damp cashmere, a continuing adventure with Team Small Dog.

Part 3-The Threadle, De-Mystified.


Threadling is best explained by Derretts. In a pinch, British celebrities. Certainly not Team Small Dog. It's swingy, it's sexy, and involves a footplant. Wear your fancy pants for Threadle. Today's Threadle lesson is brought to you by Austin Powers and Robert Plant, who I assume are close personal friends of Greg Derrett. England is small. Everyone knows everyone there, I think. Righty-o?


Thanks Austin Powers and Robert Plant. Supplies needed for Threadling? Get out your treats, and your toy, and of course the Twister mat and ideally, a vintage Herb Alpert Tijuana Brass on vinyl. I like the Herb Alpert album with the naked girl sitting in a pile of shaving cream. It says whipped cream. I think it's shaving cream.


Use that one.


I tried to get Amy Winehouse and Pete Doherty, but they were in rehab. Also Pete Doherty and Kate Moss broke up, and Amy Winehouse tried to beat up Kate, and really, Greg Derrett. I hope you stay away from that lot. They'll get you nowhere but trouble. Poor Kate Moss. Maybe the Derretts can adopt her?


So let's say you are Robert Plant. Your shirt has no buttons, and you are running up a line of jumps, you are blue blue blue blue with your dog on your left, yellow yellow yellow yellow, and off to your right, and good god. It's a Threadle. Over there at red! And your shirt has no buttons. And she's buying a stairway to heaven.


Here. Austin shows you. You see his Threadle? Rrrrrrrr. Sexy box. 3 to 4. Classic. How you going to do this?


So as your dog commits to jump 3, you get the deceleration by Planting. You can wear a shirt or not, totally your choice. And then, here comes your arm change. Since you're going to be going to jump 4, you are going to arm change to your right arm. Down it comes, as if going to your left knee. Still with Austin, baby? Because Feeties is next. Off they go, backwards, right then left then right, cha cha cha. Cue Herb Alpert. And then left arm comes back up, and voila. Dog jumps over jump 4.


Um, on the Twister mat, that would be Robert Plant feet at blue-red, then the cha cha cha backstep goes red blue red. Got that?


Unless you're on your Twister mat this way. In that case, Robert Plant at green green, then yellow blue red, cha cha cha. This might be a little different than the way you learned Threadle. You thought I was going to tell you to Rotate! But you got cha cha cha. Because Greg Derrett has adjusted it somewhat for Top Handlers! Like Robert Plant! Or famous Canadians! Who may have had embarrassing flicking occur due to over rotation. So use your feeties, kittens.


See? You Threadled. Really, not that hard. No cause for panic. Yes, there are two paths you can go by, but in the long run. There's still time to change the road you're on. Cheerio!