24 November 2009

Preparing for the future, which either will involve dog shows and the Silvia Trkman seminar or else motorskooter riding zombie death squads.

There are some days when the dogs do everything perfect. They blow me away with their intellect, their ability to understand what I'm communicating, their speed and precision of executing every task, down to the most minute detail. We understand each other perfectly, and Sarah Palin vanishes from the horizon and is replaced by rainbow glitter unicorns and universal healthcare and there is no threat of cannibal nuclear apocalypse in the near future.

Then there are some other days when one dog has to run away across the field to find something invisible. And another dog wants under the fence to look for the deer that were there a week ago. And the other dog has commandeered a toy and has decided that only she will have the toy and will only drop it long enough to bark tauntingly, then pick it up and run off. In short, a day where dog misbehavior spreads like a festering plague. And all I can think about is solyent green is people and in the future, if you have bad dogs, their barking alarms the zombie torture patrol and everyone will die to the throbbing backbeat of Black Mountain. And have skin that peels off. And no showers.

I don't know why I have these days. In a glass half full way, I suppose it's to prepare me for a time when the planet is taken over by apes and only a cool, rational thinking cap will prevail or else everyone is going to be caught by the cannibals. Zombie ape cannibals in the future that ride jet pack skooters and carry fireshooters. And if I can find a way to clearly put that front cross in so nobody pops that last weave pole, I am preparing us all for the skills we will possibly need to survive. Or at least get us an ADCh. Or around a cute little agility course without some bonehead, glaring error.

Glass half empty? This is just the way it goes.


maryvw said...

Sounds like you need to spend less time at the movies watching nuclear cannibals and scary apes (I'm trying to figure out if you went to the movies and saw The Road and then ran home and watched re-runs of Planet of the Apes, or what???) and more time having fun running with those doggies. Or interviewing Modest Sue.

team small dog said...

I didn't see the Road yet but I want to because I am totally obsessed with nuclear apocalypse future type movies because they prepare us for the future because just in case! Global warming! Earth taken over by robots! Apes run the government! We must be prepared! Bad dogs run amuck!