First a shoutout to Rob and his dog Wings, who is only 2 years old and got her ADCh this weekend. Which is the thing that 5 year old Otterpop still needs 3 Q's for and has for a really long time. Rob is my dog agility teacher and lets me run his dog Hobbes as long as I don't screw up with him too often. Ahem.
And now to our interview.
Laura: Hello Otterpop. What did you think of the dog show this weekend at Turlock?
Otterpop: Otterpop would like to announce that Axl Rose should never have gotten all that lame plastic surgery and he looks like a buffoon.
Laura: Um, Axl Rose wasn't there though, I don't think? In Turlock? USDAA dog agility show?
Otterpop: It is possible Otterpop saw Axl Rose there.
Laura: We did listen to Guns and Roses in the car. I think you guys were sleeping though. Because we had to leave at 5 in the morning to get there on time. It was dark.
Otterpop: Otterpop agrees with this statement.
Laura: So you sort of liked this dog show though, right? Maybe because I put you into performance and you only had to jump 8 little bitty inches high most of the time? And your leg was all rested and anti inflammed due to no frisbee or running or anything fun for the last couple weeks?
Otterpop: Otterpop is pleased with this name called Performance. Otterpop will now quote Mick Jagger, from the hippie film Performance. Quote. The only performance that makes it, that really makes it, is the one that achieves madness. Unquote by Otterpop.
Laura: You are such a poser. You totally got that off the internet. I know for a FACT you have never seen that movie. You are 5 years old and that is not a movie suitable for 5 year olds.
Otterpop: Otterpop ran fast this weekend. And went out to faraway weave poles in Masters Gamblers. And would have completed that Gamble had it not been for She in her stupid ugly skort squwacking "GO GO GO" and flailing arms about causing Otterpop to pop the very last pole even though Otterpop was already done with the hard part and on Otterpop's way to a stunning finish.
Laura: This is true. And we got out SuperQ'ed by a Boston Terrier. We were running though. I thought we had it.
Otterpop: Otterpop would like to announce there was much too much screaming in her dog agility xpen all day by a whining screaming Gustavo and Otterpop was displeased.
Laura: Did he mention anything about his runs? Like the ones he had to do in the ring right by the road?
Otterpop: Gustavo spent much time shrieking to Otterpop that he sees dead people. Otterpop would like to point out that only Otterpop should be allowed to make loud noises and no one else.
Laura: So this was why he decided that one end of that ring and it's contents were poisonous and could not run in there? Because he sees Dead People?
Otterpop: That's what Gustavo says although says in vile, shrieking tones that hurt Otterpop's ears.
Laura: He was so freaked out by that ring that on one run, he couldn't lay down at the start. He kept flipping over like a pancake to lay down so he wouldn't have to look at the supposed dead people end of the ring. Finally just let him start because I was like, uh, super weird here, and he just ran back out to the start and found a nice lady to hang out with.
Otterpop: You want Otterpop should rough him up?
Laura: I think he was truly freaked out. And truly freaked out and dog agility doesn't work for him because, oh the pressure of it all. He ran fine in the other ring, a couple handling issues and wide turns but not dead people freakouts of spooking and brake slamming and running in crazy circles. He got under the table again then wouldn't lay down on it. We never even got near the teeter totter. I'm not sure what to do with Gustavo.
Otterpop: Otterpop would totally kick dead people asses if they showed up in Otterpop's ring.
Laura: You know I was very proud of all your runs, Otterpop. You were running like a super champion. And Hobbes won his jumpers and somehow ended up with a totally unneccessary SuperQ in his Snookers, even though I screwed up what would have been a totally rad run at the end. AND I screwed up his Standard and he did total stink ass tabling again. I'm worried my days with Hobbes may be numbered.
Otterpop: Otterpop is a winner and Otterpop would like to announce that do NOT EVER LET Hobbes use Otterpop's frisbee.
Laura: Do you just sit in there all day and make Ruby crazy? It was like 100 degrees out all day. Poor Ruby. She never came out of her crate.
Otterpop: Ruby is LUCKY to sit with Otterpop. Jeff Tweedy of Wilco would be lucky to sit with Otterpop. Arnold Schwarzenegger would be lucky to sit with Otterpop. James Franco would be lucky to sit with Otterpop. And then Otterpop would decree that all border collies stay 100 feet away from Otterpop's frisbee at all times and Otterpop will own ALL the liquor stores FOREVER.
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Laura will end this interview just saying really, super proudness all around for fast running and super handling Otterpop and really a-ok without getting that stupid last SuperQ or the Gamble Q due to the proudness of it all. Although not proudness over Gustavo, more profound sadness, disappointness, and feeling really bad about his utter, complete meltdown in one of the rings to the point of sheer terror in going down to one end of it and just making me wonder what did I do to screw up THIS dog?
3 comments:
Oh, that stupid last super-Q and stupid last gamblers Q. Those stupid stupid last Qs particularly in those classes that are stupid mostly when one has one stupid last Q to get. I empathize. Congrats on having a lovely otterpop weekend despite that. Don't know what to say about Gustavo, except that all geniuses are neurotic in SOME way. Tika sometimes freaks out about weird things. Once we had to take her out of the building at WAG because she freaked out about the leash runner and wouldn't stop yelling at her about how evil she was. Even coming back half an hour later to try the run again, she was still freaking out about whatever it was. And Boost freaked out in the ring several times, maybe it was the wind, maybe it was a smell on the grass, don't know, tail between legs, barking barking at I don't know what and not coming back to me. I had no solution for either of those dogs, though, so I'm not even sure why I'm mentioning this, except that there is definitely a certain amount of insanity amongst high-drive dogs. IMHO. Like Hobbes hiding in the tunnel in the nationals final GP. All of these seem to have gotten better and better as the dogs have gotten older and had more worldly experience. Good luck with that.
You sure there were no mountain lions in the ring two weeks before? We had that at the Springfield cluster show several years ago. A boat show brought in entertainment......a rain forest display which included a mountain lion. It sprayed on the wall. One ring was right there and the dogs could smell it. They tried removing the dirt, bringing in fresh, spraying the walls with de-scent, but many dogs still freaked! Except a tiny little Jack. She left the start line, took a jump, that happened to be in her way, and launched to that end of the ring screaming and barking and jumping on the wall! She had to be removed.
Hmm, one place where Boost freaked was up in Petaluma where there had been a circus the week before. Some discussion then about whether they were smelling the big cats/etc. But at Turlock--unlikely--
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