12 June 2009

Handling the pinhead-a polymer.

I swear to you, this is the end of pinwheels forever. But wait? Didn't you learn so much useful information?

Like, clearly I eat way too much See's candy, pizza, chocolate chip cookies, and not much else and it's all gone to my ass.

Lord have mercy.

I am pretty sure Greg Derrett doesn't have this problem. Also, not sure if he would recommend rear crossing into a pinwheel. But it's a useful thing to do. Ruby is my only dog that likes rear crosses. Everybody else, would rather take a bath in honey at the country bear jamboree.

Did I really just say that? Pretend I said it in a Loretta Lynn accent. Same with Lord have mercy. Do you guys know the song "Pizza Hut Taco Bell" by Das Racist? They're sort of a slacker-art-rap Dutchpop world music band with mad street cred. Pretend you sing that song with Loretta Lynn accent. It might work ok, or totally fail.

I'm pretty sure Das Racist does not do Loretta Lynn covers. I think that would fail. They are like all about irony.

Ruby is pretty much not about irony. She is like super, incredibly straightforward. Stallwart. Is that a word? Ruby might talk to witches in her brain, but she also really, really, really always tries to do the right thing.

So if she can jump over the teensiest littlest jumps in the world, and will wait patiently while I dance around to the Combination Pizza Hut and Taco Bell song, I give her a treat, and tell her she's very beautiful and feel honored to have her by my side.

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