16 April 2009

Terrific news! AKC allows mixed breed dogs to compete in AKC agility.

So you've probably heard. The AKC made this announcement this week about how mixed breed dogs can now compete in AKC agility.

There's a little THING, though. The mixed breed dogs, don't get to actually compete AGAINST the purebred dogs. They pay the same money, but can only compete against other dogs of mixed race. Probably in the same arena, and I believe can use the same water bowls. But not sure on that. When possible, there would be a separate but equal arena for the mixed breeds, if by equal you mean it's actually out in the parking lot. I think that the mixed breed dogs have to take a promise pledge not to breathe or slobber on purebred dogs and always use a different warm up jump, the one located out behind the dumpsters.

Also, they're not allowed to use the a-frame and when it's time for the mixed breeds to run, they just drag a bale of hay into the arena and throw a sheet of plywood down on it.

The mixed breeds won't have the same kind of titles. Mixed breed titles, all have an extra letter in them that you have to wear on your sweater, pinned on with safety pins. So you would earn a MACH-M, and you wear this big scarlet M on your shirt. If you take the scarlet M off, they send the country club police out to your house in golf carts and they drive around your block playing REO Speedwagon songs from a loud speaker and tell all your neighbors that your dog is of unknown ancestry and pass out coupons for Portuguese Water dogs.

Also, you can't go to things like the Nationals or Invitationals. At all the big dog agility parties, the mixed breeds have to work behind the bar and wear maid uniforms and park the cars.

So, maybe you're wondering, Team Small Dog? Going to start competing in the AKC?

Oh you still there? You still wondering?

You just want me to say it. You naughty little kittens.

13 comments:

vici whisner said...

No need to say more. You've said it all.

Melissa and Treo said...

I love it! I simply love it! You are the BEST!

Elf said...

Nicely stated. Well--not so nice. But in a nice way. You know.

Mary Schultz said...

Elf, are you kidding? That is the ugliest ass shot, ever. Good work TSD!

Condo Blues said...

Nicely put TSD.

Jim said...

You've achieved new heights today, Laura. Well, maybe that's not the best way to express it, but this is terrific writing. Thanks.

Jim said...

Oh, I forgot to mention the stellar visual.

sclmarm said...

I'm right there with ya! All AKC wants is the mixed breed $$ so they can still play snob to everyone else.

Tristan - I'm a Heavenly King said...

This is a joke. You are kidding me right?!?!? (Sorry I'm a out of towner)

team small dog said...

We never joke around here at Team Small Dog.

Joanna said...

I'm an (evil evil!) show breeder and I PROMISE, we want it to change. You don't even know how hard the breeders (the Delegate Board) fought and smacked the Board of Directors around and everybody I know wants it to be full inclusion.

I don't know a single show breeder that doesn't have (and adore) at least one mixed-breed rescue and we want them teetering and tunneling with those of the red and blue papers.

Patience... this is not over and I have high hopes that in a few years we'll get there.

Jules said...

Woo-hoo TSD. I couldn't agree more!

AWESOME visual.

Lisa B. said...

I'm with you completely. I'm actually excited that the AKC is now giving me the opportunity to put my money where my mouth is ... before all I could do was say "I wouldn't ever do AKC agility even if they did allow mixed breeds ..." Now I get to actually choose not to do AKC agility.

Also, I can register my dogs as equal participants in two other agility venues for the same price the AKC wants to charge me for unequal status in theirs.