Portrait of the artist or former artist or else just portrait of the hair wad.

Portrait of the artist with Gustavo and sheetrock and doesn't the inside of YOUR house perpetually look like this because why not just rip the whole wall off of the house instead of just shoving a sliding glass door into a hole in it?

Or you could also say Portrait of the artist with hair wadded into the hairstyle we've just given up on and calling Hair Wad™ and sucking in tummy due to profile angle and thank god I haven't shaved my head.


Portrait of the artist with driveway scrap pile which has now taken over prior driveway usage of Driveway Weave Pole Training™ and looking like going to bash that stick right over the head of crazy guy who just waltzed up the new porch wearing plaid shorts and some kind of purple tie and a shirt that didn't fit and tall socks selling some slapdash cleaning crap and when he left the gate open and Gustavo ran out and he says "How ya' doin' today?" and holy smokes and by gosh if that guy didn't stop in his tracks, start slowly backing away, then reverse direction and high tail it up the street all licketdy split to get away from the crazy Hair Wad™ lady now running after him holding a snarling Otterpop screaming, "IRRITATED! I AM IRRITATED!"