Have you ever returned late at night, to your house, that was filled with toxic gas for 2 days? All your stuff, either sitting outside in the yard, or duct taped into plastic bags on the floor. And anything you go to touch, sit on, sleep on, you know, you KNOW, that it was just recently enveloped, embraced, choked, by toxic gas. You get home, you're covered in dirt and tired and sweaty, it's 10pm, and HI! Toxic Gas!
All the stuff, still in plastic. Duct taped shut. All the stuff. So much crap. You want to have a happy earth day next year? Don't buy anything green, just don't buy ANYTHING. There's too much stuff, and then you add your toxic gas, and hey, Happy Earth Day. Sorry I'm a little late with your present, earth. Was it your birthday? I would have taken you out for a drink and a taco, but I was sort of tied up with the whole toxic gas thing. Maybe next year.
Did you ever dream that you were a dog agility super champ except then it switched and you were at some germy, grungy, derelict seaside park in the dark and the carnies were actually drug addled zombies that were shambling after you with hammers and their big teeth? And then as you're trying to escape your way out from under their oily, horrible claws by clambering up a rat infested palm tree, you're all, this is about dog agility like, how?
1 comment:
But I'm sure you're donating all that plastic & duct tape directly to the earth in the nearest landfill. Happy birthday! (On the other hand... if earth wouldn't keep sending its termites into our houses to try to create more earth, we wouldn't have to do this.)
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