USDAA Southwestern US Regional Report Part 2-Some Nice Things. Plus Not Nice Things.

A nice thing: Otterpop got her first Master's Gamblers Q. On one heckuva gamble! Wow! Totally exciting moment!

A not so nice thing: I destroyed another camera. My cute little snapshot camera is now dead. I have NO CAMERA. NO CAMERA. Apparently there is no camera that exists that I cannot destroy by simply owning it. Good thing I am all about court. I will provide you for now with courtroom sketches except not from the court room, from dog agility.

A nice thing: Gary came to visit the dog show! He got to see 3 of my runs-Standard with Otterpop, Ruby, and Hobbes. Gary NEVER comes to dog shows. He got to meet lots of dog agility friends and learn about dogs' feet touching yellow paint. In 1 short hour, became quite a contact afficianado.

A sort of nice yet not so nice thing: Otterpop was so besides herself with joy, that she prefaced her run by running over and out the ring to go see Gary, and even though she came back in and then went through the timers and knocked out one smashing run, she got 5 faults for holding up the show. Whatever.

A nice thing: Otterpop was so excited about Gary who now knows what contacts are watching her instead of judges that she didn't have a single judge freakout, with a judge who REALLY watches those contacts close. It was like my normal Otterpop with sheep watching her out there running! Even though the judge was still watching! Ha HA! Gary tricked you Otterpop, but not for the powers of evil but the powers of good!

A not so nice thing: A beautiful run being a 5 faulter due to her joy. Whatever.


A nice thing: Ruby had an awesome standard run.

A not so nice thing: It was after she had this whole moment of coming out of the chute in the beginning backwards, and sniffing around in the grass.

A nice thing: She snapped out of it, and then it was one heckuva old Ruby out there.

A not so nice thing: It was a 5 faulter. Leaving the chute backwards and meandering around the buffet table aka some GRASS for a while equals 5 faults.

A nice thing: Hobbes had a super awesome Standard run and even did a nice speedy t-a-b-l-e and no dropped b-a-r-s.

A not so nice thing: He had a couple mini meltdowns elsewhere in the day. I am worried he has been hanging around with my dogs too much?


A very bad thing: Steeplechase all around. Judge freakouts, bar crashing, a-frame refusals, just wretched. Let's just say no Steeplechase Finals on the last day of Regionals for Team Small Dog.


A nice thing: Grand Prix finals. Wow-2 good dogs! Otterpop was flying, and I ran her so fast down the contacts just to get her away from Scott the judge (Do you know him? He is one eagle eyed contact spotter from GETTING IN THERE REALLY CLOSE) that she missed one. I dunno which one even. I was just running and not watching with her. GET AWAY FAST! But I was really proud of her. Ruby had an awesome fast clean run, and was holding her own up there in the standings last I checked. Dunno how she ended up. Lots of dogs in the finals. But it was old Ruby back! Not sure where she's been, or how long she'll be here. But I was super happy to see her again! Thanks Ruby! Thanks Otterpop!

Uh, once again I don't think I can tell you who won stuff. There were so many awesome dogs and handlers there, it was really fun to watch as much as I could. Super cool to see all these dogs I've never seen and totally different handling styles. Arms this way and that and facing this way and that and rear crossing here and blind crossing there and just a blast to watch. Thanks everybody-I wish I could have took your picture! Will try to do some more sketching on the last day. Must draw super fast...

Hello and welcome to the USDAA Southwestern US Regional Championships Report!

Here are some things I can tell you about. Um, you wanted to know who was winning stuff? Uh, I am probably the wrong person to ask. I am really bad at keeping track. I don't even know if I made the second round of the Grand Prix? I assume not, unless someone tells me I have to run tomorrow. But my dogs were ok. They've been better, but they've been worse. I'm not sure if Ruby wants a dog show career anymore.

Really, everyone seemed like they were having a pretty good time. Festive! No freaking out that I was hearing. A scarey moment when a super champion dog had a seizure right in his weave poles. He'll be ok. I ran leashes for a big chunk of the Grand Prix, and I CAN tell you what the latest style in leashes is. Sort of plasticky, woven slip leads with some little beads on them sometimes. Also saw a whole buncha dogs I don't know from far off lands like LA and Oregon and I don't know where else. An agility tattoo of a dog in a tunnel-maybe this is a famous agility lady?

I didn't see anyone weeping in the ladies room. Always a good sign!


The people from the news came.


Eric is videoing my good runs. He will try to be at another ring during my bad runs.


Rob took REAL pictures of dog agility.


I don't know what Sue was trying to tell me. This lady is one fierce competitor. In a do-rag.


People came in all kinds of rvs. Some were really super gigantor ones.


Super cute little ones.


Jim and Sue did a lot of course building.


Karey demonstrates Stop in the Name of Love hand, a useful dog agility move.


This Laura looks VERY supermodel in her skort.


Mary does the robot while her dog weaves.


This is also a Mary. Hey and she is doing the robot too!


Derby did a fine job on this weird angle first jump. Tammy is catching up to me in age now. She just turned 40.


Hobbes, not so much on his weird angle first jump. He is kind of having a first jump thing.


Hobbes, why do you do that?


Sometimes, you can just be a big huge dork.


And very, very fierce.


I hope I didn't give you a phobia. But can you see why I am so crazy about Hobbes? He is the cutest border collie I have ever seen.


Killy is a multi talented border collie.


Very tricky trick. Dave told me Erika loves my blog. I think he was rolling his eyes.


Tater just came for the Grand Prix on Saturday. Tater is one of my most favorite dogs. Him and Ruby go Way Back.


This was Otterpop's pairs partner. Thanks for being a good dog for pairs and Grand Prix Otterpop! You held it together. Baxter the corgi was very happy about that.


Jeep flew all the way from Connecticut. Her and Katie are super champions! We hope you win!


For Team Small Dog, it's mostly about just going down to a giant, empty field before getting back in the car and playing frisbee for a while. Eating some pieces of cheese. The agility part? It's ok. The running and barking and biting and frisbee and cheese part? Right on.

Did you want to go to USDAA Nationals?

So the premium is up for the USDAA Nationals. Which actually isn't called that. Call it the Cynosport World Games. Because that is way easier to say.

It's big, it's expensive, and it's in Arizona. Scottsdale, Arizona. The fancy part of Arizona. And I saw this over on the Elite Forces of Fuzzy Destruction, the most uber dog agility blog, about the dress code. And the camera code. Like dress nice, because it might be on tv. Don't want the USDAA to look bad. So they suggest as an example, polo shirts that are tucked into appropriate slacks and shorts. Because that always looks good. Fashion forward. And then they don't want anyone who might take good pictures who might use a professional style camera to take pictures. Because if you are going to take pictures, they should be really crappy ones. Let the pro's handle the big cameras.

I know, I know. Legal and branding. Legal and branding. Legal and branding and making their dime. Horse shows? Total dress code. Most moms can't find their kid out there in a sea of other kids in same helmet, jacket, boots and breeches. And everyone always making big dime at horse shows. Is a living. And want the photographers to pay for their right to sell photos. Which isn't how it works in the rest of dog agility but how it works here. Because this is the Big Leagues.

So are we taking a huge work vacation, packing the car with dogs, driving down to Arizona to use only my tiny snapshot camera and wear a tucked in polo shirt? Which we would have to buy. Oh wait. I have one with a giant screenprinted snake and Johnny Cash face on it. Although too short to tuck. I am SO NOT A TUCKER! But it matches a skort which they forgot to mention on dress code list but I know they think is ok. Golfers wear them and Tennis ladies. The dogs are qualified, they could be ready to go a the drop of a hat. They LOVE roadtrips. MOTEL ROOMS! Deserts!

I'm deciding next week. If the Stepford dogs are with me this weekend, then its FOR SURE no. Even if the good dogs come, here's the thing. Here's how a committed and serious dog agility lady makes decisions. A committed lady who still practiced this week and noticed how Super the dogs were and no Stepford like and fast and competitive in their respective jump heights. During practice. Always a likelihood that Stepfords could return at Any Time. Stepfords work like that. But the other decision to be made is, USDAA Nationals will cost about, almost, exactly the same as Sliding Glass Door in the bedroom wall and it's tiny little deck. A thing which, is a closer drive. Just to Home Depot. And I can actually stay home and make money instead of Losing Money for a week for sliding glass door. When you are self employed, a week of vacation is called Pay A Lot to Lose One Week of Money.

So yeah. Pay a lot of money for days of driving for specific outfit wearing and rule following and potential Stepford dogs never making it off a startline due to the whole Spectacle factor? To a vacation that husband has already vetoed as not a vacation? I'll let you know next week.

Today begins the Countdown to the Regionals.

Starting on Friday, the Frozen Margarita Ring Games begin!

I just found that out. That one of the rings feature frozen margaritas during the Friday night pairs classes. Truth or just mean rumor and when we get there and find a bunch of waters from Costco? I'll bring some beer. Now I am super highly motivated to get there on time. If anyone sees my partners, tell them I'll be there! I am still at work! Then stopping at the liquor store! I am super at running courses I haven't walked.

So it is also known as Bayteam Regionals. Bayteam is my other dog club and this is one heckuva doozy of a trial coming up this weekend. 5 rings. 3900 runs. Starts out with Friday night Pairs, which Katie has told me feature margaritas and she is coming all the way from Conneticut for margarita agility. Look for her black and white sheltie. Look for my blue tent Katie! And a buncha little black dogs. I think the margaritas will be a good thing because I just heard on the news that it is going to be 180 degrees this weekend? Is that right? What is the melting point of stain resistant skorts?

Then on Saturday is work and Dam Team and work and Grand Prix. The work sort of weaseled back in there. I am skipping the Dam Team part. Thanks work! So hi! If I am missing my walk through you guys will show me where to put dangerous front crosses, right? Walking courses, highly overrated.

Then Sunday and Monday are just loads more classes and Steeplechase is in there somewhere and hopefully Gamblers and this and that.

So maybe you heard me whining. My dogs were like kidnapped last weekend by these Stepford dogs. Taken prisoner from the super speedy and accurate and well behaved Dirt Nite dogs, practicing for sheep dogs, Stepford dogs at the trial.

You think I am joking right? I present for your perusal, thanks to Super Cool Video Guy Eric:

A little video I like to call Otterpop stares at the judge all the way over the dogwalk and plans her attack on him to be launched after the a-frame. It sounds like a baby is screaming in the background. You can see my chatting with her on the table. "Otterpop you CAN'T BARK at the JUDGE!" He committed the sin of man in hat too close to dogwalk. Augh!

Or how about a little video I like to call Ruby who runs insane like and IS NOT TURNING and leaps off the table into my stomach before crashing through a jump. Right? Like do SANE dogs jump into your stomach off the table before laying down? Ruby, you are so feral sometimes.

Right? Enjoy! See you for those margaritas and beer! Cross your fingers the Stepfords are gone and I will be arriving this weekend with my REAL DOGS!

Team Small Dog Courtroom Drama-Part 1

So today starts the exciting and dramatic story I like to call Courtroom Drama. Because you know I've already proven myself to be a drama queen. And today, August 26, coincidentally Day 2 of the Democratic National Convention that I am supposed to be covering for my friend Jon's art project, yet haven't due to working on my legal briefs or panties or whatever, is the day I have to go to Court for my Minor Violation of walking my dogs in Lighthouse Field.

If you are new to all this, Hi! and check here for how we got to this section of the story. It started in y2K when someone decided they didn't like dogs meandering around out there. It's a really long story.


So first of all, I needed to select a good costume for court wearing. I wanted to channel sort of a soccer mom, like Nancy Botwin. Wait. She is a criminal. That's where the denim jacket idea came from. It says, upstanding citizen and not very fashion forward and maybe I drive a mini van? Dog agility lady? I think? Well, whatever. I thought I was nicer dressed than thug guy in line in front of me at least. But I get ahead of myself.


Do you recognize this Court? It is also known as scenic and glamorous site of my wedding! Right across the street from the dry cleaners.


Team Small Dog, minus dogs, parks here.


The Midget Mobile, covered in INSANE TROLLS parks next to us.


Guys, I am serious. Insane trolls cover the Midget Mobile in the parking lot of the Santa Cruz County Court Building.


Where they also have Wi-Fi.


But no pets. Doesn't that pet look familiar? It's totally Gustavo! Being a law abiding Nancy Botwin of a citizen, did not bring dogs in. Or a camera. I was ready to sketch. Because that is what you do in the courtroom. I brought a pen and some pieces of paper. Old school.


So I go to the basement. Where Traffic/Minor Violations Court is. There's not even a metal detector, but it does say NO GUNS OR KNIVES on the sign. Walking around with my dogs in the park is a Minor Violation, according to the State. I am proud to say didn't even cross my mind to bring a gun or knife. I just like to walk my dogs is all. Sheesh.


Stand in line. There's a nice lady in a striped shirt at a ticket window, like you would go to buy your ticket to the circus. She has the computer back there. A very old computer, the kind with a black window and bright green light up words in it. What was it's name? Dos? Unix? Poor striped shirt lady works in a dark basement with a plastic vine on her gray cube wall and even though out front they rave about their Wi-Fi, she just has Dos for a friend. And no pets.

I gave her my ticket, with my Court Date right there at the bottom. She types it in.

It's not there! Whoa! Can you say Midget Mobile? She says sometimes it just takes a while. I'm like, "But it said I had to come in Today or I'd get a warrant? And then they don't even put me in there?"

She's like, "Yeah."

I'm kind of like, just standing there. It is sort of an anticlimactic feeling. I stayed up super late writing my little speech of why I was pleading Not Guilty using most excellent words and needed a Real Court Date to go in the no guns or knives room, and this blonde lady in a striped t-shirt says I'm just not in there yet.

She takes a pen, the old fashioned thing people used to write with, grabs my ticket, and writes down 9-11-2008 on it. "Check back then. You should be in. You should get a letter too."

OK. Are you serious? Send Team Small Dog in on September 11? Can you say Midget Mobile AGAIN? Stay tuned for more Courtroom Drama coming at you sometime after September 11. Coincidence? I think not.

The law is called the Law of Karma and you will learn a lesson now.

So while you are reading this, I am actually learning a lot about law at Court! Since we don't know the moral of that story yet, here's one that I can tell you exactly what the moral is and in case you are already bored and ready to move along, the moral is deep and spiritual and also involves using your own washing machine.


In case you are still here, let me tell you about a glamorous part of the horse business. The part where your employees go back to school or Costa Rica and you are stuck with washing all the horse blankets. Something that involves a trip to this place, and a casino sized bucket of quarters.


Glamorous Highway 1! Sunny beach town of Santa Cruz! A hot day! What a better thing to do than to take the giant load of horse laundry to the laundromat. Stuff you wouldn't ever put in your washer at home, and stuff that even the homeless guys washing sleeping bags in the laundromat give you the stink eye for bringing in. It's like horse jammies. Horses are dirty. Imagine their jammies.


Not that I didn't want to spend the day with her. But I went out for a walk.


Here's the mural with the map of my town on the pizza place. Can you see my house?


And a closeup of the exact spot for which I am going to court over for walking my dogs. A coincidence? I think not.


Other fun choices available in this part of town.


Stuff for Kings.


This would have been an ok idea.


Or this.


But instead, I went here. The super expensive organic grocery store. Because who doesn't need $5 peanut butter?


So when I was in there, a strung out guy came running in and threw a bottle of vitamins back at the counter and said, "It was Open! It was Open!" and went running back and grabbed a new bottle and ran out before anyone could say anything. My checker was the girl with stunning forearm tattoos of winged gothic lettering with dates on them and a black bob. Emo girl. Probably weeps later on about her fate in life checking out super expensive groceries for ladies like me.


We just looked at eachother. The bottle of organic vitamins said MALE ENHANCEMENT. He seemed pretty enhanced already. I guess always room for further enhancement.


These guys were sitting out back behind the bike store next door. They don't bark. They would be nice friends for Gustavo but not Otterpop. Otterpop would contaminate them with her unpleasant factor.


So back to the law. There are a bunch of tiny Mexican ladies in the laundromat waiting for the big washers. And mine has a ticking time bomb picture on it making a frantic beeping and has all the horse jammies prisoner and isn't done. I come back from my scenic walk to this fiasco and it is happening in Spanish. It was $8 in quarters to get it this far. I have other important things to do on this day off. I have been asked to be a dog trial chair and I tell them how busy I am doing things like running a business and here I am with all the tiny ladies yammering at me and in my best Spanish am trying to explain ticking time bomb of evil washer and voodoo curse against me and I DID hit the VERDE button and finally just yank 100lbs of sopping wet unspun horse jammies and shove the dripping mess of them in the back of my car.

Um, does this have anything to do with teaching Gustavo his straight weave poles? Going to court? Being a better dog trainer? Of course. The law of Karma says, according to Wikipedia, our source for all cliffnoted explanations of complicated things, "Through the law of karma, the effects of all deeds actively create past, present, and future experiences, thus making one responsible for one's own life, and the pain and joy it brings to him/her and others."

So yesterday, all dour and feel sorry for like, and boo hoo no one will ever invite me to beat Michael Phelps and his fat bulldog when dog agility gets added to the Olympics and I'll just have to watch Susan Garrett battle it out with him and who cares about the floating polar bears and gathering Democrats in Denver when you are having a sad dog show day.

What is the reward for this kind of thinking?

How about 100lbs of sopping wet horse jammies currently clogging up my driveway and the tiny ladies wagging tiny, angry little fingers at you all the way out the laudromat door, trailing a wet, sloppy trail behind me.