24 November 2008

Here are 7 completely unrelated topics from yesterday.


Topic One:
Down at the end of my street, there's a house with a leaning over fence where the feral chihuahua herd sometimes escapes through the screen door and out into the street after my own somewhat less feral herd, always followed by shrieking en espanol for someone to grab 'em. The light blue plywood fence disguises a warren of sort of indoor-outdoor rooms that use a lot of wrought iron, cardboard, christmas lights and plastic for roofing. This morning, all the cars and trucks in front, all of them already lowered just inches from the ground, sprayed primer black, with oddball ornaments of chrome here and there and some big ass rims, had flattened tires and they were all almost touching the asphalt. Just laying down in the street and all the tires, perfectly horizontal. The lowerider parade, had landed. Their guys in black hoodies, likely still sleeping in the house and not going to be very pleased on their wakey wakey.

Topic Two:
We drove over the mountain, me and the dogs, to have a lesson with Jim. I was really excited to show Jim Gustavo's weave poles in sequences. Oh, except that he couldn't really do them anymore. Just popped the last pole over and over and over again. Until we traded out the Ikea colored painted poles for some nice plain ones with blue stripes. Then it was ok. Not perfect, but not terrible. Baffling, dogs. Frustrated, I was grumbling about how so many people I know have puppies that can do their poles just fine and maybe Gustavo will never be there and EVERYBODY else's baby dogs were super champs like his and Gustavo is just running around and when will I learn how to be a better dog trainer? Jim is all, (uh, paraphrasing here Jim!) that a lot of people I know raised their pups from day 1. Clicker training at 6 weeks, foundation skills by 8. I have dogs I find on the side of the road or get drove up in a van from Mexico or were feral terriers. I get 'em not as puppies and I have to train them how to be dogs and by golly. Give yerself a break. Ya think Gustavo survived on the streets by being an independant little sonuvagun or a perfectly trained agility dog? And that's what I got and by hook or by crook he's becoming a super duper agility dog. And something about zen and balancing and thanks Jim!

Topic Three:
There's a little fella I see a lot when I walk by the hippie parking lot. Sort of a daytime seaside homeless rumpus room for mobile street units. A lot of pot smoking, drumming and pitbulls on frayed ropes pass the day away in this little tourist parking lot, and vanish when it locks at night. The little fella, he was perched up on the fence, in fine form, getting ready for a cloudy and cold sunset. He looks like a shrunken mini Iggy Pop, except with dead straight blonde hair, smooth in a tidy bowl cut. He wears giant shirts that make his tiny little body look even tinier. But his, face, I swear, is Iggy Pop. Just if he was shrunken and super tan and had a surfer baby bowl cut. I catch his gurgly voiced conversation as I walk by, "Yeah man, but they were already so drunk and shooting up speed, so when the guys at the bar..." and by then I can't really just dig my heels in and halt for total obvious evesdropping. Will never know what the guys at the bar do. He's telling it to another teensy, tiny little guy shirtless bearded guy in a bowler hat and bright red tights. His bare chest has a giant tattoo that I can't really make out and he's holding a broom.

Topic Four:
One of my customer's hubby is a fisherman and she brought me a bunch of ziploc bags full of giant chunks of fish flesh out to work on Saturday. Big meaty ahi's. Usually not a huge meat eating fan around here but I keep tossing bloody chunks in a frying pan and frying them up into tacos. Little cabbage, little cilantro, little lime. Lots of ziplocs in there. I am sort of an univore? Like to eat one thing til it's gone. So fish tacos breakfast, lunch and dinner til we run out of those fish baggies in there. After that, might be pop tarts. It's just easier to figure out what to eat that way.

Topic Five:
Got a report on Black Beauty's weekend of fox hunting and parties and socialite events. Terms such as Love and Perfect and Best Dog and Sleeping Under the Comforter and Cutest and Sweetest were used over and over and over again. Also one reference to Humping Husband's Arm. Black Beauty loved everyone and every dog and sleeping over in the dressing room of the trailer and wild parties and hanging out with all the other dogs and wearing her coat and waiting for the riders to return and traveling around in her crate and, I guess, every single thing about her weekend. I think, that Black Beauty may have found the best home for her. Will be doted on and travel everywhere and see the horsey world and love every minute of it. And I'll still see her during the week. And Otterpop has been a normal dog for 3 days. 3 days of normal. 3 days of normal. 3 days of normal.

Topic Six:
Someone emailed me about playing soothing classical music for dogs with anxiety. Our dogs listen to a lot of college radio. My music tastes lean towards 70's country and Madonna's Evita and Sonic Youth. At least in the the last couple of minutes. Gary listens to whatever is new indie pop sort of stuff. Maybe Otterpop will like the classical music? I downloaded some from the classical music for dogs website. I dunno. As long as I'm not home when she listens to it, I'm game.

Topic Seven:
These are actual things that people searched on google yesterday and came here, to visit Team Small Dog:

Little tiny boulder collies that won't get any bigger
big fast ass
small dog having body jerks
dog dominatrix england
she said she wants to dance because she likes to grove so uh just bust a move
chihuahuas for free
flick away dog agility
tiny dog breeds that do not malt
what is the little black fluffy dog from tv
team small dog

5 comments:

Elf said...

I bought Boost from a breeder with awesome agility dogs and she came home with me at 3 months and I taught her weave poles in 2 weeks and they were perfect for about 2 months and then went all to #*@&, always skipping the entrance or always popping out at the end, and finally late this summer after she turned 3, they mostly seem to be coming together again. But they are frigging fast weave poles, so maybe I'm not too unhappy. Some dogs get it faster than other dogs, that's just it.

Sarah said...

Captain,

SO much material here! A few commentos:

1) My latest revelation (aka duh thought) is that agility is not unlike the horse game. Always striving for perfection but never really quite fully getting there, except for those once-in-a-lifetime, totally addictive perfect rides, you know what I mean. Same with things like piaffe and weave poles and 1-tempi changes and liverpools. Sometimes they go quite splendidly and sometimes they just explode into a ball of crap.

2) SOOOO glad to hear that BB's visit to the Peninsula was ab fab, that she is going to be a certified member of the xtended team for the rest of time, and the Pop can settle back into regular life. You made a great decision to let her be the center of someone else's world.

3) Your hair is looking good. Fer reals. I have to get my scraggly mess of a mop chopped on Wed, am hoping that the simple-is-good approach will go over with the stylist. Might print up your pic and see if it works. Think she'll be able to see it, under all those fingers???

Condo Blues said...

I'm glad that BB found a good home. It's like a Disney movie or something trailer park chi evetually finds a home among the well heeled horsey set.

Alaska said...

Um...your life is SO interesting.

Yeah, good news about BB and Otterpop. But on the music front, I read that Our President-Elect (emphasis on "Our") likes hip-hop, so better get with the new program there. As long as it doesn't contain "the n word or the b word or the h word," that is.

Anonymous said...

Who knows where to download XRumer 5.0 Palladium?
Help, please. All recommend this program to effectively advertise on the Internet, this is the best program!