18 November 2008

Courtroom Drama Episode 7-Judgement Day

Maybe you're reading this at 1:30pm, Pacific Beach Zone Time. Aloha, from Sunny Santa Cruz.

If you are, then I'm in court. That's right. Today is judgement day.

Prepared my statement.

Borrowed some clothes.

Took some advice from my attorney. OK, my friend. But she is an attorney. An IMPORTANT one, you guys. She is good. We had to give her wine and play with her kids to get her to advise me on this. Usually frying, like, slightly bigger fish. What did Laura go and do this time?

She said, after an exasperating evening with me, rendering me tongue tied at every look from her, "Laura. I think you have to decide what you're trying to accomplish here. Do you want to get your fine reduced or community service, or do you just want to go in there and be a political activist, and just do that and be done with it? Knowing that you are going to lose, and it might be ugly."

She looked at me over the top of her judge glasses when she said that. One word from her looking over those glasses reduces me to a puddle of decomposed caracass. I think I was supposed to pick the fine reduced and community service option.

I thought for a second. "I just want to do what's right. I don't want to make up some weird thing about canine good citizens and exercising the therapy dog and pleading remorse. It's f**ked up that we are getting tickets for walking our dogs and rangers drive around the field now and there's tire tracks where there used to be grass and that I'm a criminal now and I am not guilty."

She's like, "Yeah, but you are. You broke the law." We'd been going around in circles on this all night. She looks over the top of her glasses at me. "You are aware, Ms. Hartwick, that it is against the law to walk your dogs without leashes out there?"

Shit. See you in court.


Anonymous said...

What I want to know is how you got those three dogs to pose so perfectly. Are they just ceramic statues or just good drugs?.

Double S said...

Go Captain Go! Yes, you will most likely get your ass creamed in court today by Judge Judy's evil twin. But know that you're an inspiration to the rest of us in that outfit and with those perfectly posed dogs! Keeping fingers crossed 4u today. Hoping you come out alive!

Anonymous said...

You're speaking for all of us who would just like to walk our freekin' dogs off leash after we get home from working all day and paying our taxes and otherwise being very law abiding (most of the time). what is so wrong with that?!


Anonymous said...

Doing what is right is the right thing to do. You are my hero, and tonight you should definitely celebrate doing the right thing, no matter what the outcome.

Also, then we need some sketches to illustrate the event for those of us who couldn't be there, and so we can purchase them as souvenirs to help fund the past and future doing of right.

vici whisner said...

soo...what happened? Do you need one of us to post bond?

Anonymous said...

Sending you best wishes from Australia, hope you got on ok.

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