2008 USDAA Southwestern US Regional Report Final Report

Hello my non dog agility friends. And hello all my agility friends even though I was just right there with you for like a week. Yes, it was still the dog show. Day 4. It was on the news! That is a lot of days of dog show. For a Sunday dog show day only person like me, it is a super lot of days and I have to say, super fun. Sign me up! I'm in for more trying to get Saturdays off work and do a couple days in a row. I had a great time. It was super fun to meet a lot of you guys my new dog agility friends who are reading this right now, Hi! and thank you everyone that invited us to be on teams for the Nationals. Are we going? Maybe a story for another day.


So some winners. Luka and Sweep and Cap in the Grand Prix. Usual suspects, except for Sweep is like practically a puppy! Augh! It is embarrassing that I still have Gustavo not able to do all his poles straight and next time I have a lesson with Jim, be all, Hi your puppy is a super champion and Gustavo has just started bringing his frisbee back. Such is life. I was putting junk away and didn't quite notice who won the Steeplechase? I saw some grand fastness happening there. And a lot of very cute skort outfits. Hey, and I won a dog bed in the worker raffle. Can I tell you how often that happens? Never until today. Not as glamorous as winning the Grand Prix, but it is sort of like Christmas that you worked your ass off for toting leashes back and forth or some such thing to actually win a raffle prize. So I am a winner too.

JARGON GLOSSARY- Sorry non dog agility friends. We are getting pretty technical here with dog agility jargon. Let's take a jargon break for a moment.

• Frisbee returning: You throw the frisbee, and dog should bring it back. Very embarrassing to have a dog agility dog that doesn't actually bring the frisbee back.
  
• Steeplechase means run really, really, really fast and just don't look at the a-frame contact and pray they hit it. 
  
• Grand Prix? You win it and you are very happy when you are at the big dog show in Arizona. Neither of my dogs won it, but I think Ruby has a bye? A bye is the happy thing, many people this weekend were either deliriously happy or near weepiness over byes. Otterpop had 5 faults in the finals. Bye bye?
  
• Buy? Bye? Bie? I think it is sports lingo. Meaning you get a free polo shirt? And don't have to compete against the masses? 
  
• Skort. You know that one now, right? Is easy to remember. Shorts + Skirt + hopefully nice legs, not chowder legs = Skort.
  
• Worker raffle is like when you work, you get some little tickets to stick in a jar to win something. Maybe a bag of treats. Or a dog bed or jump or a dog nail tool or a chair. Stuff like that. Also these tickets are great to wash in your pockets too. I do that a lot too, may have to do with why I never win raffles. You are paid depending on how desperate the crew chief is for workers. Non desperate crew chief gives you a couple tickets. The most desperate, hand wringing ones just throw bundles of tickets at you and run away screaming looking for workers.
  

So back to the report. Ruby just likes running in classes with lots of rowdy spectators screaming and clapping and whooping at her. The Grand Prix finals were the highlight of the show for her. She had one of those snookers runs on the last day, trying to get those final Super Q's, the kind that lasts like 10 seconds and involves jumping 2 red jumps in a row due to Ruby freakout meltdown. Otterpop just missed the Super Q but had a great time and got yet another plain Q that I guess we save up for a rainy day.

JARGON GLOSSARY-Snookers-we went over this once before, my non dog agility friends. 

• Do a red jump, find another thing out there that is like 7 points if you can. 
  
• If you can't, do something else like maybe for 6 points. 
  
• Do a red jump. 
  
• Do another thing for a lot of points. 
  
• Keep repeating as many times as the judge says is ok and YES everything is bi-directional in the opening GODDAMNIT! It ALWAYS is. It NEVER is in the closing. Bidirectional, just like bisexual except with obstacles. You get the picture. 
  
• Don't dawdle, whatever you do, because the 7's are FAR, FAR, FAR away like another Galaxy! 
  
• Then follow the numbers 2-7 with little flags super fast and just turn around and look for timers if the whistle blows or possibly go to another red really fast but don't if you didn't hit the bar. 
  
• Count! 
  
• Hope you go last in the run order and can make up your course out there and not have to be freaking out because you OVERSLEPT when Gary did not set the alarm and have like 2 seconds to walk the course and run first. A true story.
  

Everyone had a good standard and I made everyone have an error! Five faulters all around for Ruby, Otterpop and Hobbes. I did one of those runs where I pretend Hobbes has a running a-frame and he just goes WOWZA COOLNESS! and there you go. Thanks for doing the t-a-b-l-e Hobbes! Otterpop had a mini refusal just from a bonehead handling glitch on my part and no judge issues and a great run even though a five faulter. Ruby poppled out her poles which I take as stress about to happen so I just kept her flying along and just flew her back over a bunch of stuff and out the ring. She seemed happy enough. She wanted the screaming crowds back maybe? Has diva issues? Sort of like aging Madonna and no one is watching her and then she goes and starts adopting kids from Africa and developing giant bulging leg muscles?


Otterpop was happy to get a bunch of Q's. I was writing them down and noticed she has way more Q's than Ruby and just needs the gamblers and Super Q for her ADCh now. She has her MAD now too because we've been waiting on that Gamble Q for a long time. She is 4 years old. Ruby just turned 8. Ruby might be retiring, might not. I have no idea. Otterpop, I am really proud of you. You got better and better every single run. You are not the fastest 12-er out there, but your times are getting a little closer to Jack's and Porsche's. Very fast 12-ers. Ruby, I love you for being a weirdo and sneaky feral jungle animal that growls like a pig at home and if you don't want an ADCh it's a-ok with me.

Oops. Sorry again. Maybe not most useful report to you. And have to just live with the courtroom sketches for now until a camera is fixed. Augh! But I think you all would have had a good time and maybe you all come next year, OK?