10 June 2008

Weave pole tug clinic-a primer.

Well, we took a bit of time off the campaign trail to practice some driveway poles. Where are these getting us? Not sure. But all these trials are coming up, and I feel like we should be Actually Practicing and not just Thinking About Practicing. These are Different Things! As Team Small Dog reader Ellen put it, "Only on Team Small Dog, where reality is only one point of view." Yes! Because let me first tell you when I got dressed today, I decided to channel Nancy Botwin! You all know her, right? She lives in the planned community of Agregstic, and last we saw, was in a spot of trouble with the gangsters and the Christians and all the while, slurping her $4 coffee in a plastic cup while tackling the day to day realities of being a full time hot suburban lady and a drug dealer. Because I just have been feeling Nancy Botwin lately. I have no pool. Would be a terrible drug dealer. And I never buy the $4 coffee. We use the actual stove and sink water that does A-OK for us but sometimes I still just wish things would flow out of my mouth like hers. I guess she has writers. I guess I need to work on my craft.

Um. But Nancy doesn't wear skorts actually. Or navy blue slip on vans. Or polyester cowboy shirts.

Anyways. Carry on!

So the idea today, get everyone all crazy with a tuggie then speedy poles.

Ruby, check. Can I tell you what tuggie we are using? Is perhaps cheating, Greg Derrett. It is named Bully Stick and it is made from a part of a bull that is shaped like a stick. A sort of wide, longish stick. You guess what part, my friends. So not vegan. I will make the hippie tofu for dinner tonight and repent and my yoga teacher said be in the present so that's where we'll be, and the bull that lost his stick part for our weave poles, he is likely long in the past.

Otterpop, you are going to have no frisbee and just the tuggie stickie dickie thingy!

Works great!

Gustavo, you are why we have a skort, so I can sit in the dirt with you, on the driveway and we can PLAY! I am more fun than even Otterpop, think about our can-can days of high kicking, the day we showed our underpants to Barack Obama in the name of Getting Bush and his People out of the White House. We were so wild and drank Jagermeister and joked about the days when maybe you had less focus for agility for reasons that allude me, since good god, we're doing shots, red faced and nosebleeding and everyone is shouting ALOHA at the top of their lungs and just keep me away from those power tools.

And here's the poles. And here's me.

And there you are. You are so cute and you sit on my lap. You wake me up by climbing over the pillows standing on my hair and pulling it out at the roots and you run like the wind at the beach. Sometimes I wonder where have I gone wrong? I did not do the Crate Games enough? I did not tug enough? I need Control Unleashed mat lessons? A personal trainer? All of the above? Probably not debuting in the Starters this summer.


Anonymous said...

I don't know what you're complaining about. Gustavo's can-can moves were perfect, and that's got to be harder to train than weave poles.

Anonymous said...

Now the newbie TSD might complain: typo: allude is spelled elude. But we all know that the Capt could have meant either? I'm half thinking maybe the Capt never knows either? :)

Elf said...

I'm thinking that, as O/C as I usually am about, say, grammar, spelling, punctuation, and other such language-related amenities, I find that learning how to dress for agility while practice my weaving poles simultaneously as I point my finger downward in every conceivable circumstance completely makes up for the, shall we say, occasional little languageal glitch. I give special dispensation to TSD, which I do not give to Chinese Translators.

team small dog said...

Guilty as charged. Thanks for special dispensation. Promise never to translate anything to or from Chinese.

team small dog said...

This is a testing comment to see why blogger is broken yet again. Wed. AM.