02 June 2008

Our Consistent Handling System, Part 2.


So here is a nice way you can watch Greg Derrett. How about one video on the video machine and one DVD in the computer. So at the same time, we did front crossing review and the importance of getting your puppy to actually play with you and have a preference in playing rather than taking any agility equipment. And ate a burrito for dinner too. Is called multitasking and maybe is why I need to have so many dogs because I am sort of busy, attention span of a flea?

So the preference in playing with me means definitely as opposed to tunnels and teeters and it should be more fun to tug on the rope. Augh does this one plague us. Gustavo is a wild and wooly tugger, we practice in the house. We practice in the driveway. We practice while other dogs are running and making it SO FUN. But when hegets out there, on the field, leash off, the tunnel beckons and the teeter glistens in the sun and those things are more fun.

Back to square one. Because we want to be Consistent, we really do Greg. Because then I am watching your box exercise on the DVD and I realize I am devoted to your system. I am a BELIEVER! I understand you. I am a good Listener and I am Teachable! You are a front crosser and you have rules that are the rules I have learned and try to remember but sometimes don't. And you have your boxes set up on the farm, in a beautiful english countryside, and I see cobblestones and 300 year old bricks and I hear ducks in the background and sometimes a leaf blower, and every time you make a boo boo with one of your dogs, who both remind me of Hobbes, even though they're girls, the words flash up on the screen.

Great Dog. Shame About the Handler. And I know you are speaking to ME.

But Greg. We promise. We promise to follow these 3 easy rules:

When your eye is on your dog, the dog is reading your shoulder, NOT YOUR FINGER! Greg has said nothing so far about pointy, awful fingers.

When you are using the arm and leg nearest to the dog, it makes sense to the dog. Like you are speaking dog now and not some language such as engineering or critical theory. You are not using quotes by Derrida and signifiers. It is just the easiest one for them to see!

And being committal, and knowing when they are committal, well, that's just good common sense. No one wants anyone committing to anything too early or too late. Although it happens all the time. And if it is a movie such as Sex in the City, which maybe you are getting a review of very soon, we know committment to be a hard thing when you are rich and beautiful in New York City. Such is our life. Oh wait. Actually not.

So here's the deal. When you go practice today, you write down your rules. And, let's just briefly mention about where you are actually putting in these front crosses. Like on your turns, never your straight lines? Right? That one is easy to remember. Let's all recall back to Madonna's like a Virgin period and Like a Prayer phase. And she is dancing around and there are burning crosses and the black Jesus is crying and wait a minute, did that whole thing make very much sense? What would Derrida have said about it? Is it clear? Is a burning cross like a front cross? Did Carrie Bradshaw have a Madonna phase? Does Madonna live near Greg Derrett in the English countryside?


Well, look. Madonna wasn't super clear with her crosses and all and then Pepsi fired her and I think the burning cross was to make some big bucks and she broke up with Sean and I believe got a tiny chihuahua and that should be plenty of easy ways to remember where the front cross is (the Turn) so you can have it before the Straight Line. Phew. Aren't you glad I'm helping you get clear and consistent with your handling system?

6 comments:

Sarah said...

Thank you, Capt TSD! I haven't gotten to see the second GD video yet, so that synopsis was just what the doctor ordered. Thank you for making it so clear and concise, and not mixing it up with Madonna and Derida :-)

Off to practice what you preached (but not like Pappa Don't Preach)...

Elf said...

I am almost struck wordless with awe but not quite. If only I had read this post before this weekend! I'm sure it would have changed my life somehow!

-ellen

Lisa B. said...

So not to open yet another can o'worms in your comments section, but how did Greg determine that the hand closest to the dog makes more sense to the dog than the other hand? 'Cause I use the other hand when I'm turning my dog away from me and it seems to make perfect sense to her.

Mary Schultz said...

Laura,

That really was a little mean. There I was, hanging on your every word, and liking the icons for the Rules!!! and thinking *I* wouldn't now have to buy or borrow the pricey Greg Derrett videos. And then you just plain on purpose throw via Madonna Derrida in there, which made perfect sense, but I would have preferred that ever so British illusion of clarity and sense over that Frenchy we're so much smarter than you are (they are, it's true) and clarity sense is always a hoax.

team small dog said...

Well, I had to throw some Derrida in there for you PhD types because that is what is clear to you even though I just am glad short black leggings like we all wore back in Madonna days are back in style and can even be worn with skorts.

So, because now I channel Greg Derrett via Madonna, I can answer your question Lisa B! Greg wants us to be EVER SO CLEAR due to perfect consistency with our dogs. And sometimes, don't you use that outside hand to send your dog out and away or up up and away? So (in the context of a turn off a contact into a tunnel) if you just teach your dog a directional word and DON'T even need to use an actual hand and certainly not pointy finger, it is more clear. And an inside hand is a good helper and still consistent but the outside should actually want to send your dog away.

An even better channeler than Greg Derrett than I once said he didn't really have a problem with that outside hand turning away and into a tunnel (after I got busted showing some poor, defenseless beginners this on the flat) but for perfect, always clear consistency, inside hand works best.

There may be other reasons which I promise to reveal the more of the DVD I watch!

Mary Schultz said...

Yooo--hooo. Ph.d.-type not! Never finished. Failed at the Ph.d. thing. Only understand enough Donna Haraway to know I'm not getting most of it. Please stay with Project Runway analogies. Madonna too complicated. Ellen, she's got your grammarized, too! hasn't she? ("I am almost struck wordless wordless with awe but not quite.") Three cheers for grammarization! (Never to be confused with bad grammar or, worse, grammatology, or virgins wearing bustiers unless designed by Ricky!!!!)