So there's these 2 guys on my street that are new additions to the cast of characters of my own little entertainment show that I call "Stuff That I See on My Street." I lead a pretty boring life. Some of these other characters include The Really Old Chinese Man That Gives Me The Stink Eye All The Time Except for When He Lets Out A Groundshaking Belly Laugh and He Has No Teeth. And of course, The Family With 3 Little Girls Who Wear Princess Uniforms Exclusively And Jump Off Their Fence Into The Street. The Small Boys With the Weapons. Crackhead Professional Surfer and His Skinny Skateboard Pal. Nervous Looking Yuppie Neighbor of Crackhead Surfer. Deranged Mountain Man That Climbs the Highest Palm Tree With a Machete. And there are so many more.
So these 2 new guys, maybe a little shifty. But probably just in a stealing aluminum cans from recycling bins way. Not going to be too worried about them. But they are just sort of endearing in their shiftiness, in a weird MTV sitcom kind of way, and even have their own dog sidekick too. We'll call their dog sidekick Buster. Maybe the guys have made up names for my dogs? Or maybe this is just something I do to pass the time.
Guy Number One is super tall. He's younger than Guy Number Two. Sort of a little gangstah, backwards cap and sometimes sporting the Blacks. If you dress all in black or all in blue, apparently you are sporting colors and it is kind of best to wear coordinates and not be all matchy matchy when outfit selecting in my neighborhood. If you are me, you are probably ok with all black though. Being a 40ish dog agility lady doesn't get me confused with being a gang member too often so I will frequently wear the all black (slimming!) and be matchy matchy with all my dogs. Like me, Guy Number One, he's sort of older than most colors wearers. He has Buster with him usually, who I believe is a relative of pitbull Teddy, from back in the day of our street of the fun pitbull breeding program 8 houses down. That didn't go over so well and we spent about a year never walking down that part of our block. It ended up with a couple kids in jail and the pitbulls vanished, with the parents off to Texas I heard. A couple with a baby and a couple dogs and Obama bumperstickers on their Subaru moved into their house and replaced the windows and pulled the weeds.
Sometimes Guy Number One also wears a garbage man style jumpsuit. Which is a little weird considering his other more stylish outfits, but that seems to go with the aluminum picking job so is more functional office wear for him. We are pretty sure he is not really a garbage man though, because he is more of a stroller and garbage men are not really known to just be strolling around the neighborhood at random times of day, selecting specific items out of garbage carts.
Guy Number Two is really old. He sort of shuffles down the street, and Guy Number One, when they're together, just walks slow with him. Sometimes they're together, sometimes I just see Guy Number One. Like maybe Guy Number One sometimes takes Guy Number Two out for a walk like I take Timmy? And brings Buster along too, so everyone is getting a little fresh air and exercise on the block. Although sort of a different kind of walk than with me and Timmy or the small dogs because Buster seems not so well behaved and subscribes to Leash My Ass even when walking in the street and goes bouncing off after a cat while the Guys stop and open up some trash cans and look in. Or Guy Number One, sometimes who carries either a coffee or a brown bag beverage, stops and hangs out by a recycling bin. He kind of takes a long look down the street, like to see who all is watching this. I wave. He waves back. He just hangs out there while I'm walking by, sipping his beverage, ignoring his pitbull who has gone after another cat, and enjoys the day.
I know. You're like, OK, where's the punch line or the exciting part where I chase his pitbull down the street with a board or start yelling at the Guys about something? But I guess that was the kind of day it was. I did help take home a lost dog, and during the wacky volkswagen starting debacle with the drunk guys I rescued the surfboard bag out of the street before the Lady That Moved Into the Cryogenic Guy's House ran over it while the Deranged Mountain Man and his new sidekick Another Deranged Mountain Man cackled over their Coors Lites. And the Guy That is Always Chopping Wood in His Straw Hat chatted with me about the weather for a minute and the Evil Robot Mailman ignored me and it was just another walk on my block.
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