20 April 2008

This is maybe not for the faint of heart.

I know. It's like, is she even DOING dog agility anymore? Rest assured we have 2 weekends of USDAA in a row coming up, and yes. I have barely been practicing. And Gustavo has barely been learning anything new except chew on the couch pillows. Oh wait, not new. Oh wait. And that's my sock. Hold on a minute.

OK. Gustavo has a weird wart thing growing on his nose. And today we go be therapy dogs and visit the nursing home. And he looks ugly.

Here's what his nose looked like a until a few weeks ago.

Here it is with the attractive and giant wart.

I showed it to one of my clients who is a small animal vet. She said, yep, wart. But in better and more complicated vet words. I believe the words were the like dog version of genital warts, a "common" thing puppies can get on their faces. My puppy has common genital warts on his nose.

So my idea was, can I knock him out with Tramadol and just cut it off? This is where the horse folk differ than some of the dog folk. We just sometimes knock out our animals and do stuff to them because, well, that's what we do. We like to keep an arsenal of drugs on hand ourselves. Dog folk seem to generally take them in to dog offices. Luckily I have vets that come to the barn and who understand my Perhaps A Little Bit of Knowledge is Too Much Knowledge Tendencies.

"Um," she said, "I guess you could do that. It might just go away on it's own, too. Maybe you want to bring him in the office if it doesn't?"

"So you can knock him out and cut it off?"

She looks at me. "I guess you can just do it." She'd have to knock him out to lidocaine his nose anyways. He is not an easy patient. Do not even ask how teaching him to do dog fingernails is going. He is freakishly, horribly strong for such a tiny dog and for as friendly and nice as he is, doesn't like to be messed with.

I'm like, "Do you think it's gonna need a stitch? Like if it has a root?" I think I sounded a little too eager.

Laura. Don't lets perform surgery on our own dog, ok? When we're feeling flush again, after this month's tax FIASCO, he can go get his wart sliced off by a pro. Because giant nose warts just aren't that cute. I just hope all our nursing home friends don't care.


Anonymous said...

TSM, I just want you to know that this is my last opportunity for a leisurely morning for 21 days (and by leisurely I mean that I absolutely *have* to start grading this stack of essays by 9 a.m., yeah I know it's a Sunday, send me to hell for working...wait! I'm already there!).

So I fix myself a nice cup of cappuccino, and toast my nice two pieces of toast, one spread with the Brie that one of my sons who was sent to the grocery store thought we could afford, and the other spread with the lovely organic strawberry preserves that my other son sent to the grocery store thought we could afford. And having positioned my keyboard so as to not catch too many crumbs, I clicked on my TSM menu bar button, took a sip of cappuccino and toast...and GOT GENITAL WARTS ON GUSTVAVO'S NOSE!

Thanks Team Small Dog! Keep those surprises coming!

Anonymous said...

Captain TSD,
I so enjoy your blog. It really makes my day and sets my toes a tapping.

The best thing in life is when there's someone you can count on besides our dogs and we can always count on Captain TSD!

Thanks for perking me up (almost better than the cup of coffee I'm having now)

andrea said...

maybe its a viral pappiloma (sure I've spelled that totally wrong?)

our young girl Sally had one... gave it to Hank - who vet thought was too old to get it ...

ugly as all heck but done and long gone with no surgery required

Anonymous said...

Oooooo! I love pictures of grose things growing (as long as they're not dangerous)! Thanks!
In return, I'd like to share with you my method of dong toenails. It works even whether you dremmel or clip.


Urban Smoothie Read said...

gustavo, i hope that wart will go off ASAP... n u claim back ur handsome face

some random female said...

I hope you don't hate new replies to old posts....

Anyhow, THIS is how I do the front nails on my Malinois rescue with issues:


After almost five years now (YIKES), I can nip little tiny bits off of his rear nails, a couple nails at a time. I perhaps would have made faster progress if only I were more motivated, but perhaps not. But he LOVES doing his front nails and gets them quite short on his own. It's his thing.

team small dog said...

thanks-i will try it because clipping gustavo's nails is STILL near impossible and tricking him sounds perfect.

Anonymous said...

you're actually pathetic. How can you say something that cute and lovely is ugly? I know its only a dog but its disgusting you would say its UGLY now it has a wart. You're clearly not a very loving owner.

Anonymous said...

you're awful. your dog isn't any uglier just because he has a growth that wasn't there from the beginning. you're sick and i feel bad for your dogs.

Unknown said...

and in some of you these genital warts in women can cause maddening itching - or even bleed and discharge during intercourse. genital warts treatment