It was USDAA and no dogs caused me to curse quietly under my breath.

So first things first. Here is the deal with little black skorts. The little black dress of dog agility.

Make sure it doesn't almost come off next to the a-frame. Hecklers may continue to point this out to you all day long. Otherwise, hello. Am sold on little skorts. A nice thing for the ladies that is not too ugly for dog agility! But not for the mens. The kilts are a little weird maybe. You just keep wearing your shorts my man friends.

So first of all. Congratulations to Otterpop for trying so hard and holding it together and not doing anything terrible or embarrassing to me. She had a couple bars on Saturday, I think because I was trying to hold her together and she was trying to hold herself together and we just sort of held it together to get around and had a bar in both her runs from too much hand holding out there. But on Sunday, she actually Q'ed in everything and didn't do anything wrong and I know she was actually trying really hard to have a good time and run and relax a little bit. She did drink a bunch of my coffee Sunday morning. So from now on, I give Otterpop her own cup.

And Ruby stayed sound almost the whole time. I guess her drugs wore off and she came up lame again part way through the day Sunday and I scratched her from Steeplechase finals. Her Steeplechase run on Saturday was the bomb and even though she hit a bar, had a smokin' time and was just fired up and the Ruby that I LOVE to run. Whole Reason for Dog Agility Ruby. Startline comedienne and all. She got some Q's, and some 5 faults from some bars. One 5 faulter from a very diva dive from the dogwalk into a tunnel next to it, with total and complete disregard for the yellow. Like so very Mariah Carey leaping onto the kraft services table to bathe herself in the cupcake platter without thinking about anyone else's love for an untouched cupcake. We practice that one. Running to the bottom. Not bathing in cupcake frosting. I'm sure I did some crackhead thing to broadcast to her early to just go ahead and jump ship and get in that tunnel. Such is life.

Perhaps not unlike Hobbes in the Steeplechase finals. I just had this feeling he might do that, seeing as how there is a big fat tunnel just staring you in the face as you're pummeling over the a-frame, and I have just let him blow by a contact like that before. Because I just need that extra whatever hundredth of a second instead of using brakes in Steeplechase finals. And blow by it he did. With a great run but ending up with 5 faults worth of time added. So maybe I won Rob enough money for a pizza for dinner. But maybe just a small cheese pizza. And a couple beers. But not very expensive beer. He had a fabulous standard Q with a happy love table with me and Q'ed in everything all weekend in his runs with Rob his actual dog owner because he is the most genius rockstar of all border collies. Like a non suicidal and still alive Kurt Cobain of border collies. I like sitting in the grass with him and making him bark. As stalkers go, I am easily amused.

Gustavo spent the weekend shoved into one small crate with Ruby and Otterpop. It is like all the clowns in the tiniest volkswagen, shoving in and out with their clown shoes flapping. The horror that the visions of the paranoid schizophrenic are made from. I didn't bring all my dog stuff. I had room to shove one crate under a friend's tent and that's where they stayed and they had a nice, snuggly weekend of Team Small Dog Togetherness. Sorry dogs. Sometimes I'm just mean and lazy like that. They will have plenty of time to get over it because we're taking them up to Booneville for a few days today. To sit around on a sheep ranch and do exciting events such as fetch the stick from the pond. Even Timmy gets to come.

This would be called our vacation and I will be wearing a skort. Because what is a vacation without 4 dogs? Is perhaps like going on a cruise around the Baltic Sea for a week or staying at Oprah's Hawaiian island villa except it is sitting in a little house on an old sheep ranch for 2 days and one of the dogs has alzheimers and one seems to be lame. And this means no internet my friends. I will be looking across the valley from a hammock. Writing pamphlets. I'll be back at the end of the week.

PS-Thanks Eric of Agility Video Service for the videos! They are flattering and don't make us look fat!