06 November 2007

When the queen comes to town.

In the movie The Queen, the big star was the herd of corgies that sort of always flocked around the Queen's feet. They were always there, and seemed perfectly behaved. The Queen looks like a dog agility lady too, except with cooler little suits.

When the Queen comes to my house, my little flock of dogs goes insane because it means small children with food snacks at small dog mouth height all day, all crackery cheesey snacky goodness. Sorry, I mean princess. Sorry, I mean DRESSED like a princess, not a real princess. I don't have lots of friends with small children, but I think perhaps not all of them are brave like Pixel and Atom who are unafraid, for the most part, to just plow through groups of dogs wandering about, sometimes at high speeds, in my living room and kitchen. And backyard. And bathroom. And bedroom. Or have one launch onto their head during a diaper change. Sorry Atom!

We also experimented using some dog agility training techniques to see if the children would be obedient. Like my dogs are real obedient. I always picture most hardcore dog agility people sitting at home doing all the stuff the dog training books say to do to build drive and work on 4 hour down stays. And my dogs are flying around the house like howler monkeys on acid with mouthfuls of squeaky toys, crashing into walls and leaping from the couch to the next room. Like don't even try coming in my house Susan Garrett! We taught the children nose touches, come, wait and thru with great sucess! Next time, tunnels and weave poles. They learned way faster than any of my dogs! Good children!

I think this is a successful Recall!

Let my hate mail begin parents!


Unknown said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Unknown said...

I read somewhere that an Australian Shepherd is about as smart as a 4-yr-old child. This is clearly not true (as you proved in your adorable toddler and princess training session). I think perhaps the misapprehension is due to another phenomenon: adults are about as smart as 4-yr-old children. Anyone well-versed in the many seasons of *Survivor* takes note of this truth each week while watching *Kid Nation*.