22 August 2007

Mimosas in the land of the Rainbows!

I tried to call the anger management hotline last night and all I could hear in the background was yelling from the smoking cessation corner and a screaming toddler and then someone was yelling at someone else to get their underwear on before they left the house and no one ever did help me with my anger problem. Which stems from the fact that maybe I need to go on a vacation? Because many moms and many horse girls are driving me to the brink of insanity. For good reason. Right now, one of the horses is very seriously lame because of some bad horsemanship by a teenager. You live and learn, but she is one of my main meal ticket employees and is perhaps really good and lame, like hello new lawn ornament (and I don't have a house with that type of lawn-see last year of real estate posts), for the rest of your years lawn ornament. And then the moms all ask stupid questions and someone infects the helmets with the lice and someone gives notice on the pony and everyone just in general causing me grief. And hello, I am providing you with a service that you pay me money for so your kid can ride horses and not have to buy their own! All this grief and I am actually saving you buckets and buckets of money by owning the horses (or in some case renting them!) myself! And then they are lame and then I have even more anger.

All I want to do is play with the dogs and paint the bathroom. The weather changed to damp this week, which makes timing bathroom painting especially challenging. If I went on vacation, all I would have to do is play with the dogs and not even paint the bathroom. Drink mimosas and play with the dogs! And on a vacation there would be no rotting seal corpses for rolling in, no sewer drains for climbing through, no horses flipping over on their backs to kick asses of (true life things done by dogs, not me, already this week) just nice laying around and mimosa drinking to do.

I guess some people take actual vacations in the summer for reasons such as Managing the Anger. We have scheduled a vacation for 3 whole days in October. But on tv, they go to a week in the Hamptons in August! Or my customer who went to the country house on Martha's Vineyard for the whole month of August! Right now I would take a Monday without graphic designing and count a Sunday dog show as a big vacation. This Sunday's dog show is put on by my dog club which means not so vacation-y. My job this Sunday besides running dogs and keeping Gustavo from going completely wacko will be sort of like being a sherpa teamster and moving large heavy things around a lot! And late in the day moving many large heavy things into trucks. A super fun use of recreational time that I actually pay for! So that kind of doesn't count as being a good target for complaining since I have completely brought this onto myself. And according to the Secret, if I do the complaining things will get worse so I am supposed to put on the positive thinking cap for solving the Anger Management and then pray that god brings me a shiny new bike and eliminates all evil racoons from my path and life will be good.

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