Real Conversations thanks to the Fun of Bathroom remodeling The Cheap Way.

This true life conversation takes place while I am on my way to San Jose on my day off to price the toilets over there. Everything is about driving to a place and getting the price then finding out I do not know the answer to the important question, such as "What size is your Rough In?" (a good question for a plumber!) and "What level of flushing do you need?" (a question that refers to the amount of flush power to flush down, um, large objects, down the toilet. Level 5 toilets have the pro size flush but are very expensive! i do not know how big our poops are in comparision to flush levels. I feel so ill informed.). And then driving home because the toilet is not in stock and we do not know the rough in yet or the flush power. This follows a day coming home empty handed from the Berkeley salvage yards, ready to go and learn what other important questions I do not know the answers to ("Do you have your spec drawing?" Ha Ha!) at the stone slab place in Watsonville tomorow since the vanity has been ordered on the internet at 6 am this morning for the sale price!

So this is where I am going, dogs left at home to do what they will with the mailman when he comes, and my cell phone rings on the death freeway:

Team Captain: Hi Del, I am talking on Hwy 17!!! (I say this gleefully, because Hwy 17 is a fast death freeway of windyness through the mountain forests and now I am driving and talking with only one hand! I was once admonished for following too close on Hwy 17 and got a ticket and I almost cried because the ChP guy was so not Erik Estrada and just whipped that ticket out to me licketdy split.)

Good Friend Del: What is this you are saying about a porta potty? (Because I love to email people and tell them about my bathroom remodeling and my porta potty!)

Team Captain: God I hate the porta potty. AUGH, I cannot wait to have a porta potty for my one and only bathroom, conveniently situated at the top of the driveway, if only the 20 foot hose works for the truck and the truck is not too wide to back up my skinny, skinny driveway.

Good Friend Del: You can borrow our toilet!

Team Captain: (Here I am now racking brain and making sure to follow the bright red fast car in front of me around the turn. I am driving over the treacherous and windy Hwy 17 and Del has offered to lend me his toilet. How does this work exactly?)

Team Captain: Yes! Your toilet!

Good Friend Del: Our RV toilet we have up by the pool in the pool house. You can take this one! It gets 100 flushes and...

Team Captain: (Here I am counting how many is 100 flushes...how many times a day do we need to flush the toilet? Does this count the plumber flushing too? And friends that come over? I have never counted this before..)

Good Friend Del: ...and it can go in the house...

Team Captain: (Here I am thinking how will I put the RV toilet in the house, in the kitchen? Where the dining room table is? What part of the house fits the RV toilet? If you have never been to my house, suffice to say my house is very, very, very small. Indeed, a tiny, tiny, tiny little house. Mouse house. Fox in a box. We bump into each other all over the house without toilets located in the middle of a living room. )

Good Friend Del: ...and it has hardly any odor...

Team Captaine: (Am thinking now about the odors. Perhaps in the garage would be a private place to not create too much odor?)

Team Captaine: Yes! This sounds perfect! Far better than the porta potty! (But really I am thinking about the odors and this toilet now where and how do i get the sewage from the rv toilet to where it goes?)

Good Friend Del: You just hook it up to the toilet to empty it or take it to the Rv place. (He has read my mind of how does a toilet like this work since you are flushing to, where?)

Team Captain: Yes! I will just take it there! (although I am thinking, man, this whole thing just sucks more and more and more every time I turn around it is just SUCKING!) I can just drive it to the RV place and dispose of..the...Waste. (This is just SUCKING. Why, why why is our bathroom so rotten and we don't even want this house, we want a Ranch)

So we arrange to at some point have a toilet rendevous, I will use Vicki's big truck to get the toilet and bring it to my house. Did I mention how much this is sucking? I know I should be very gracious, of which I am, for having friends who will actually lend me their TOILETS. But such things. That I will be using the hardly any odor toilet in my garage or backyard for possibly how long?? I don't even want to think about it. Daniel the plumber and electric guy working without license or permits says 3 weeks. I think that really means 6ish in real world talk but I don't know. I think this is better than a porta potty? Thanks Del!