14 January 2011

How to keep your eye on the ball.

I started a secret friend club in facebook. I had no idea I was doing this. First I started private club. By mistake. Then I upgraded it to a secret one. Also by mistake. You're probably not a member if you have ever had sex with vegetables or whatever it is you do in Farmville.

Later, the same day, I broke Gustavo's running dogwalk. By mistake.

Although, it could have been him, not me. He's the one supposed to touch the paint.

I think that we need to keep an eye on facebook. Just like you watch that yellow paint when your dog's feet run through it. Very, very closely.

With a squinty, flintlock stare. The trick is, don't take your eyes off the yellow. Or Mark Zuckerberg.

Here's the thing, I didn't mean to start a secret club. Just like I didn't mean for him to out of the blue start jumping over the yellow. From the blue. Gustavo. Not Mark Zuckerberg. But shit happens.

Running contacts, like social media. Neat-o. At first. Then, later on, you're all, oh crap. Total demise of civilization as we know it. You bury your head in your hands for a second. Then go back to watching closely, and running fast wherever possible.

I found an old shirt under the seat of my old truck from the '90's. I guess that makes it vintage now. I washed it. I wore it. Turns out, not only is it vintage, it glows in the dark. Damn. I think sitting under the seat of the truck for 14 years made it radioactive.

So, bummer about facebook and bummer about running dogwalk breakage, but super excellent on the glow in the dark t-shirt front.

The truck, where I found the shirt, it limped away to it's new home. Where maybe, they're putting it to sleep. Water leaked in the sides. And it had rust holes. Grass was growing under it. It was broken. No longer neat-o. All used up. Out to pasture.

Not always a bad place to be.


Anonymous said...

fb is creepy weird. it is taking over the minds of some of my friend. friends who used to answer emails. now i send an email, wait a week, nothing. send them a message on fb, wait 2 secs, answer. if i contact them on fb, does that make me an enabler?

Mary said...


You wanted Lists, not Groups. You go to your Friends page, and in the very top right hand corner click on the Edit Friends button. Then wave your mouse over a Friend and a little "Edit List" button will pop up. Click on that, and you can tag your individual friend by a category that makes sense to you. I have several categories: "Agility Cohort" "English Comp Cohort" "Family" and "Friends." (People can be on more than one list, too, so I can be in your Agility Friend List AND in your Friend Friend List, for example, but you probably shouldn't put me in your Family Friend List, although I would be honored and we could cut our fingers and be blood sisters). Once you have done that for all your Friends their will be category buttons to the left of your screen and you can filter the type of friend you want to read about at any given moment.

(If you just didn't want to get all the Mafia Wars and Farmville happenings in all your beloved friends' virtual lives, I figured out how to turn off my friends posts about their virtual pigs and corn and chickens, etc., without turning off their other comments. I have forgotten how I did this, but it is possible.)

Jen Lindsay said...

To get rid of the virtual farm and the other Facebook app nonsense, hover your mouse to the right of these kinds of posts and a little X will pop up. Click the X and it will give you the option of hiding the person's posts, or hiding all posts from that particular Facebook app. I would have quit Facebook long ago if hiding the game posts wasn't possible. I've also found it helpful to hide all posts from particular people who way over post with pictures/links that clutter everything up.
I didn't know about the lists feature - thanks for the info, Mary.

Anonymous said...

Never mind FB.....when can we buy a glow-in-the-dark Otterpop shirt???

Virginia (Otterpop's #1 fan in Texas)